Election Night Party

Hi All - I promise I have a good and juicy (and totally depressing post coming) but I wanted to share some really fantastic news. Two fabulous food retailers will be offering free sweets on election day next Tuesday.

1. Ben and Jerry's is giving out a free scoop of ice cream on election day from 5 pm - 8 pm

2. Krispy Kreme is giving out a free delicious star-shaped doughnut with sprinkles all day on election day.

Bon appetit!

Great video: Laid Off by Lehman

It's tough times right now for a lot of people. I'm grateful for my job and know that you all feel the same way. Daniel Schaffer, formerly of Lehman Brothers, pokes fun at himself and thousands of others while soliciting a few laughs.

Enjoy!

More on how to be happy more

I know I've talked to you about Gretchen Rubin before - basically, I love her. She's done a really great job isolating topics that influence her own happiness and translating them to everyday issues and concerns effecting the greater public. Her story -she's a Yale-educated lawyer, she clerked for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor then switched gears, wrote presidential biographies and is now a happiness expert with a new book set to hit shelves in 2009.

From Gretchen:

A few years ago, on a morning like any other, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a New York City bus, I saw that the years were slipping by. “What do I want from life?” I asked myself. “Well…I want to be happy.” I had many reasons to be happy: My husband was the tall, dark, handsome love of my life; we had two delightful girls, ages 1 and 7; I was a writer, living in my favorite city. I had friends; I had my health; I didn’t have to color my hair.

But too often I sniped at my husband or the drugstore clerk. I felt dejected after even a minor professional setback. I lost my temper easily. Is that how a happy person would act? I decided on the spot to begin a systematic study of happiness. (A little intense, I know. But that’s the kind of thing that appeals to me.) In the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and tips from popular culture. If I followed all the advice, I wanted to know, would it work? Well, the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Click here for those lessons.

My favorite is #7 which I mentioned in a previous post, but I think I like it because it is not something I have to work on. Number 10 is particularly helpful I think:

Take action. Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work.

This is something I work on everyday - just becoming conscious of what makes me happy (and what upsets me) and taking steps to ensure I make those things happen. One thing, for example, is the state of affairs in my kitchen and living room. I love walking in the door to see a counter clear of clutter and nicely folded blankets on the couch and pillows arranged ever so symmetrically. Each night, once DC and Bay are in bed I "refill my water" glass and arrange both rooms. Eight hours later I wake up to the smell of coffee and the sight of cleanliness, ten hours after that I come home from work to order and comfort. Seriously, it's the little things that make me happy.

Real Simple - not just for yuppies

As many of you know, I'm a bit of a magazine junkie, in part because I work in PR but also because buying, reading and recycling magazines make me happy (in that order). Some personal favorites include Texas Monthly, Women's Health, Cooking Light, US Weekly, Allure and Glamour. Since Real Simple's first issue published in 2000, I've been a total skeptic. First of all, I didn't need a magazine to tell me how to be organized, clean or simple (I can do it on my own!). Secondly, I knew I wouldn't be able to afford installing California Closets and Elfa systems in order to live a less chaotic life. Third, I didn't want to have to read a magazine that told me I needed to toss notebooks from freshman year or that it was time to upgrade from my great granny's brown, yellow and orange afghan...basically, I thought the magazine was for yuppies and wannabes who were trying to hide real world insecurities with pretty decorations, fancy wrought iron wall-art and high-end furniture...until last month.

BT, La, PJP and I were driving around Dallas a few weeks back - the girls were discussing a recent Real Simple article. I tuned out thinking it was a conversation about something I wasn't interested in so I just admired the trees along the road (we don't have a lot of trees in Oakland). I was eventually brought in to the conversation when La asked me if I was a satificer or a maximizer. Questions like this are usually really easy for me to answer, I know myself well enough to answer this or that questions with ease and confidence. But it wasn't as if she'd asked me if I were an R or a D...and honestly, I thought she'd mispronounced "satisficer" (she didn't). I had no idea what she was talking about or how to answer the question. The girls did a great job providing definitions and examples which helped me immediately identify that I'm a saticifcer. So what exactly are satisficers and maximizers?

Real Simple's Gretchen Rubin explains it like this:

There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

I was totally intrigued by the topic and started to mentally run through a list all of my friends and family members trying to decipher what everyone is...this is when it dawned on me that maybe there were other good articles in the magazine. I came back to the office on Monday and flipped through the copy I had on my desk and was really, truly and amazingly surprised by the content, topics, editorial - I loved it. And after some more thought, it made perfect sense; happiness leads to simplicity and vice versa.

So here I am now, reading Real Simple with regretful eyes wondering what I've been missing over the past eight years.

More on Maximizers and Satificers soon but in the meantime, which one are you? DC, we ALL know which one you are.....

For the love of dogs

This post is dedicated to pet lovers and their beloved furry friends.

For my entire life I've been more than fond of dogs. I've had three of my own and I plan to have a farm one day that will foster all the world's homeless doxies. Bailey, the current love of my life, has been my partner in crime for the past 5 years. During the five years of his life, I've lived in 4 different apartments, had 3 different jobs, lived in 2 states and been in love with one man. When put that way, Bailey has seen and heard more about my home-life than any human could ever imagine. Essentially, he's been a "fly on the wall" since 2004. Bailey has seen nudity, heard fights, licked tears, hid under the bed during earthquakes, seen sickness, watched countless hours of 90210 reruns and even witnessed a kitchen fire (MMA). The intertwined life of a dog and his human is in many ways one of the most intimate relationships a human can have.

Too much of my adulthood has been spent trying to explain to my dad the important role that a dog, specifically Bailey, plays in my life and that the relationship between owner and dog teaches profound life lessons. In order to really love a dog you must think selflessly, act affectionately and above all else respond to a dog's loyalty, with loyalty.

What surprises me most about Bailey is that despite the fact that he often confuses carpet for grass and concrete pillars for fire hydrants, he is actually very perceptive. He's good at fetch and roll-over but what I'm talking about here is his ability to recognize emotion. When I'm sad (not crying, just quiet and reflective) he doesn't dare bring me the tennis ball or pounce around trying to pick a fight. In fact, he does just the opposite. Bailey will sit in my lap and cuddle as close to my body as he can, as if he knows that's what he's supposed to do.

You might say that Bailey knows me so why wouldn't he just want to cuddle anyway? Well, I had a roommate once (BT) who rarely cried but when she did it was louder and scarier than anything you can image. Picture a child with a very low baritone voice being told he could never see Santa again and that's what we were working with. Anyway, Bailey offered the same love and tenderness for her that he did for me. He'd slowly inch his little face around the doorway to check-in on her and make sure she was okay. Surely he was scared of her loud, wall-shaking wails but instead of hiding, he checked-in on her and offered his sweet, little warm body for a snuggle.

So maybe my points aren't scientific but they are real. Anyway, I shouldn't have to prove that Bailey loves me, I know he does, I can feel it. And most importantly, Bailey makes me happy and I'm so thankful I have the sweetest, balding best friend a girl could ask for.

Fake it till you make it

So I woke up this morning wanting to be me, not Betty Draper. I do still love Bets but 2008 has a lot more to offer a girl like me. Plus, she's bound to be struck by liver disease and lung cancer by the time she's 40. I plan on becoming a true renaissance woman and those ailments will most definitely get in my way.

On another note, I've been thinking a lot about the phrase "Fake it till you make it." In one of last week's postings, writer Gretchen Rubin talks about ways to feel happy now. She says that, according to research, "even an artificially induced smile boosts your mood." This is particularly hard for me since I wear my heart on my sleeve but I'm going to work on it. My question here though is, does this logic apply elsewhere? Can I fake it till I make when it comes to confidence, insecurities, feeling beautiful, being a good wife, being good at PR, etc?

I know I fake it sometimes in the kitchen. I do have a solid base of knowledge when it comes to cooking but sometimes I just have to pretend like I know what I'm doing so as not to disappoint DC or whoever else is there (but really, I think subconsciously I'm trying not to disappoint myself). I for sure fake it when I'm at the gym - I pretend I'm hard core in my fancy work-out clothes, headband and water bottle when really 30 minutes on the treadmill is torture and the thought of an ab workout beyond a few crunches is daunting.

Does anyone else do this? Is anyone else a pretender?

This begs an even bigger question about the relationship between appearance and confidence. Before I was married the biggest turn-off in a guy would be "over-confidence" which often translated in to "insecurity." At what point does being a pretender become a flaw?

Too many questions today, I know. Maybe being a pretender is best left at smiles and happiness and not anywhere else.

Thoughts?

I love Betty Draper

I had a fabulous weekend. Good friends, good sleep, GREAT football....so why do I feel so lifeless this morning? I've had more than 20 oz of coffee, I had breakfast, the office is quiet, stocks are up...so why the long face? I know that I have a little bit of Columbus Day envy - the office is empty and clearly, I didn't get the memo about making work "optional" today. Also, I woke up not all that excited about going to work which is unusual for me. I blame this morning's hesitancy on my recent obsession with AMC's Mad Men.

I've become ridiculously obsessed Don Draper's wife, Betty. Her long coral-colored nails, beautiful dresses, chain smoking and impulsive coffee drinking have me wondering if I should have been born a few decades sooner. Imagine a time when pants on women were a new thing and the idea of women working by choice was considered "modern." It a recent episode, Betty was scolded for wearing a bikini because it made her appear "desperate." DC rolls his eyes at me when I throw on my one-piece - he think it looks "weird."

Anyway, I just wanted to stay at home today, smoke a pack, drink a few cups and go horseback riding in the afternoon. Come on, can't you all picture DC and I drinking Tom Collins with PCL and Palafax over to play bridge while JFK makes a State of the Union speech on the television in the background?

Today is definitely one of those days when I'm questioning my purpose and place. I might just have to think all of this over a manicure at lunch.

Now What?

Early on, I told myself I wouldn't whine about politics and the market here at Tell Me Something Wonderful. I must confess however that I'm having a hard time taking my eyes off the the downward zigzag of today's indexes. I had originally planned to get some workout clothes at Lululemon today but it looks like I'm off to Ross instead. I really need to stop thinking about the market, I'm doing my best to save where I can and I know DC is too. We'll just have to ride the wave and have faith that we'll be out of this soon. I would like to say though that while the market is down we are still doing much better than in the 1920's. On Black Monday, Dow Jones fell to less than 100 points. We're close to 8,500 points which isn't where we were a year ago but we'll get there. Plus, there are more important things to be concerned with right now. Here are just a few:


1. Red River Shootout (It's 12:47 pm and OU still sucks)
2. Fleet Week in San Francisco! (I feel confident MMA will meet her match this weekend)
3. Bailey is alive and well after a touch and go situation last month
4. We only have 42 more days until the week of Thanksgiving
5. Gas prices are down! (just try to appreciate it for what it is and not think about why)

One last thing keeping me on my A game today: Online Tarot reading! My mom sent me a link this morning and according the three cards I picked I have a lot to look forward to.
1. I will soon see family members that I haven't seen in a while (next weekend I'm off to Reno!)
2. I will soon experience fame and fortune!
3. A promotion is in the works....

The up and coming field of "positive psychology"

In doing some research for today's post I came across a new sub field of psychology that studies healthy, happy people, rather than patients struggling with various issues, ailments. The Positive Psychology Center at UPenn explains by saying:

"Psychology’s concern with remedying human problems is understandable and should certainly not be abandoned. Human suffering demands scientifically informed solutions. Suffering and well being, however, are both part of the human condition, and psychologists should be concerned with both." http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/index.html

Thanks to positive psychologists we know the following:

• The things we think will make us happy often don’t
• Money does not make us happy
• Having more money than our neighbors might
• And having less than the neighbors is guaranteed to interfere, big-time
• Friends and family do make us happy
• Moving away from them for a great new job doesn’t
• Senior citizens are happier than the young
• Pretty people aren’t happier than anyone else, they just look better when they are unhappy
• Having lots of choices doesn’t make us happy; it seriously stresses us out
• Commuting is an immense drag on gross national happiness

Bottom line is stay close to your friends and family, understand that wealth means very little in the big scheme of things, avoid living far from you work and try to become more decisive.

What do you guys think?

My Pursuit of Happiness - Part 1

So the blog so far has been a mismatch of random thoughts, news I've come across and funny videos. I'm really unsure where this blog is headed or how it will evolve but I do appreciate all the feedback I've received.

Over the next few days I'm going to share various articles and theories I've come across about happiness - how to achieve it, keep it, feel it, etc. As a woman, a middle-eastern female at that, my emotions run high - you all know this about me. I'm either floating on clouds or down in the dumps with very little of anything in the middle. While the highs rock my world, the lows are a bit dramatic and frustrating so I'm going to try to find ways to stay in the middle even when I'm upset. Sammy always reminds me not to sweat the small stuff and while that is a good adage to remember, not always the most practical. See below for other ways to keep on smiling (my favorites are # 4 and #6).

9 Things You Can Do to Be Happy
by Gretchen Rubin

Being happier doesn’t have to be a long-term ambition. You can start right now. In the next 30 minutes, tackle as many of the following suggestions as possible. Not only will these tasks themselves increase your happiness, but the mere fact that you’ve achieved some concrete goals will boost your mood.

1. Raise your activity level to pump up your energy. If you’re on the phone, stand up and pace. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Put more energy into your voice. Take a brisk 10-minute walk. Even better…

2. Take a walk outside. Research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood. For an extra boost, get your sunlight first thing in the morning.

3. Reach out. Send an e-mail to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or reach out to someone new. Having close bonds with other people is one of the most important keys to happiness. When you act in a friendly way, not only will others feel more friendly toward you, but you’ll also strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people.

4. Rid yourself of a nagging task. Deal with that insurance problem, purchase something you need, or make that long-postponed appointment with the dentist. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a big rush of elation.

5. Create a more serene environment. Outer order contributes to inner peace, so spend some time cleaning off your desk and tackling the piles in the kitchen. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizable dent. Set the timer for 10 minutes and see what you can do.

6. Do a good deed. Introduce two people by e-mail, take a minute to pass along useful information, or deliver some gratifying praise. In fact, you can also…

7. Save someone’s life. Sign up to be an organ donor, and remember to tell your family about your decision. “Do good, feel good” — it really works!

8. Act happy. Fake it 'til you feel it. Research shows that even an artificially induced smile boosts your mood. And if you’re smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable.

9. Learn something new. Think of a subject that you wish you knew more about and spend 15 minutes on the Internet reading about it, or go to a bookstore and buy a book about it. But be honest! Pick a topic that really interests you, not something you think you "should" or "need" to learn about.

Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal, but in fact, research shows that happier people are more sociable, likable, healthy, and productive — and they’re more inclined to help other people. By working to boost your own happiness, you’re making other people happier, too.

Gretchen Rubin blogs about happiness, among other topics, for Real Simple’s Simply Stated.

Video of the day - What the eff is juice!?

A true classic -

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Video of the Day: The Good in People

I'm hoping to instate a video of the day. Please feel free send over some submissions. This story came from my star news reporter friend Sally -

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=B31639876F0C3555A55BB87794379E3B?contentId=7567264&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

And of course, here is something to make you laugh. This guy is my favorite meteorologist.

Best news I've heard in a while

Yesterday, Google announced a new Gmail feature called "Mail Goggles" which is designed to prevent the social drinker from sending out shameful emails while drinking. By turning on this new widget, Gmail forces you to perform a few simple math problems, within a reasonable time limit, before you can hit send. Sadly, this service is only available on Friday and Saturday nights between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m. I guess nobody at Google goes out on Thursday nights?

http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/new-in-labs-stop-sending-mail-you-later.html

Being the thorough writer that I am (or aspire to be) I might have to try this out on Saturday while watching the Texas-OU game - who's with me?

Something to think about

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."
- Robert Bloch


"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's grave out there....

I've been scouring Google new, CNN, NYTimes and a few other sites looking for topics to write about...I'm seriously struggling. I know someone reading this is connected to something amazing, let me know about it.

A few feel-good things to consider doing in Austin this week:
-Travis County Democrats invite Austinites to watch tomorrow's debate at the Long Center at 7:30 pm
- Craig Newmark, founder of Craigslist, will be speaking on UT's campus on Wednesday night at 5pm at the AT&T Executive Education and Conference Center. For more information: http://www.utexas.edu/lbj/rgk/outreach/events/newmark.php

City of Austin beefs up recycling program

Great news for Austinites and the State of Texas. The City of Austin begins its single-stream recycling program today, allowing residents to put all recyclables in one cart instead of having to separate. Seeing as Texas has very poor recycling track record, this is a major step in the right direction. One of the great things about living in California is that we recycle toilet paper rolls, wine bottles and everything in between.

Way to go Austin!

Where I'm coming from

In light of the economy, upcoming election, a little bit of homesickness and the annoying San Francisco weather, I've decided to start blogging about the world's beautiful and wonderful and happy things. I'm not planning on blogging about sweet smelling roses or the innocence of youth but rather the positive changes and forces happening locally, regionally and globally. I appreciate and encourage your suggestions so feel free to email me with ideas. I promise to do my best to make your day a little better and brighter.